Mike and I
were with my mother in South Carolina in April. Mama had a stroke in November while I was
with her and then had two or three more.
She is doing remarkably well and working diligently on her rehab…this
was after much touch-and-go with her for over two months.
We took her
to see her best friend, Martha…or “Mahthah” as Mama pronounces her name. Martha was thrilled to see Mama out-and-about
and told us how much she loved Mama…
“Peggy
taught me about forgiveness.”
“Peggy is
a friend you tell her anything and you
know that secret would stay with her to the grave.”
“Peggy is true.”
Mama has
taught me, Kathleen, much of how to be a decent person.
She taught
me kindness by her actions. I remember
her fretting because it was snowing before Christmas and the mail might not
run…she had asked Daddy and us kids to give her for Christmas a child to support through the
Christian’s Children’s Fund and she wanted to see the photo of that child on
Christmas Day.
Mama modeled
for me practicality.
When she sat
me down for “the Talk” she laid out why she wanted me to wait until marriage
but ended it on “If you have a baby, it will be YOUR baby. No more outings, dates, etc. YOU will care for that baby…are you ready for
that?”
Smoking? First was all the health reasons (her daddy
died from lung cancer when she was 6 years old) …then, “It turns your teeth and
nails yellow. You and your clothes smell
like smoke. And it costs money.” THAT one had me. 
Forgiveness? “Forgiveness is for you, Kathleen, much more
than it is for others. If you forgive,
hatred will not eat away at you.”
God? “Believing in God is for me. It is just easier to get through my life
believing than not. I don’t KNOW if
there is a God or not, but it seems like believing is a better way to
live…easier to be kind and good.”
Mama taught
me how to be a mother. One of the most
important lessons she taught me was to learn from our children. Parents frequently think they know it all, but
we don’t.
And our
children do teach me…they teach me so much.
They have their own wisdom, joy, practicality, humor, and kindness that
astounds me…this may be one of her greatest lessons to me…to learn from our
children. It is because of her, I am
open to listen and engage with our children and in turn whole new worlds keep
opening for me. I not only love our children, I delight in them and enjoy them
immensely.
I hope as a
mother, our children received from me ways to live a good life as I did and
still do from my mother.
I really hope
they will learn from their children or if they do not “breed” they will learn
from their nieces, nephews, and their friends’ children, because new generations have much to say. We do well to pay attention.
-Kathleen
