The Hand that Rocks the Cradle (Part 2)

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world is quoted often to give mothers power, but that power rarely exists (see part 1).  This line implies that mothers raise their sons who then rule the world and by osmosis the mothers rule the world (in the 1800s daughters were not that important).

What a load of bull!  For example:

Let's say that a mother raises her son to be gentle, loving, kind and peaceful, then the child turns 18 years old and the military takes him and drills out all the gentleness, love, kindness and peace-loving because the military needs him to obey orders unquestionably and kill.

Or  a mother raises her son to be thoughtful, questioning and introspective then the educational system pumps rote facts, biases, and spewing back information that does well on a standardize test.

Or a mother raises her son to be open to all people no matter what race, religion, or sexual preference but institutionalized religion and 24-hour news spews forth hatred and the son absorbs racism, sexism and bigotry that would astound the mother.

Or a mother raises her son to have a passion for justice but his friends and peers beat him down with jeers and insecurity and he grows hopeless.

Or a mother raises her son to be engaged and active but society and circumstances reward a life of apathy and detachment.

And our daughters?  Let's say we raise them to be strong and independent but being pretty is what is valued.

Or we raise them to be conscious of the poor and the needy but reading fashion magazines and watching commercials make clothes and shoes the biggest priority.

Or we raise them to be creative, brave and adventurous but schools and peers teach them to fit into boxes and not dare to be free.

And the examples go on and on...mothers have influence...sure, we do...but we kid ourselves if we think we have the greatest influence.  Plus society does mothers wrong if they blame them for how their children become as adults.  

But here in Nicaragua, working with poor mothers, I know that the above are problems...deep, disturbing problems but they are also First World problems or problems that the poor women of the world do not have the luxury to ponder let alone do anything about.

Here in Nicaragua,  we watch mothers struggle to put food on the tables of their families.  We watch them struggle to be mothers when they are just children themselves.  We watch them react to kids with violence because they themselves are just too worn out to sit them down and talk to them. 

These women do not rock cradles, they push a hammock and hope the kid sleeps so they can go find resources for the family.  These women do not rule the world, they do not even strive to find their place in the world...they don't have the time.  They are poor and often single heads of multi-generational families.  Every day is a struggle to survive and keep their kids healthy as well.

Do they have hopes? They do.  Do they dream of a better time for them and their children?  Always.  Do they rule the world?  No...they rule nothing, but maybe they should.  If they did, maybe many of the other problems would sort themselves out.

-Kathleen