My father has dementia and my mother, Peggy, is extremely grateful that she can manage his care at home because she can afford to have someone come in the mornings and evenings to help her get him in and out of bed, someone who helps him exercise three mornings a week, and someone who cleans once every two weeks. (Plus my brother is close by.)Mama frequently comments on how these care-givers live on the edge and how her eyes have been opened to just how awful life becomes for them when something goes awry in their lives because they are poor. On occasion Mama has housed them, lent them her car, given them tips, and given them extra hours when they are strapped.
The patients in our clinic definitely live on the edge. This man has little to eat. His daughter cares for him. It is hard to see but his wheel chair is rigged with a plastic chair because the wheel chair broke.You may remember the grandmother who cares for her two HIV positive grandchildren because the mother has abandonded them…well, now Doña Lucia is also caring for her daughter as she dies, because her HIV has developed into AIDS…it is too overwhelming and yet, Doña Lucia copes.
Lately, I feel that our own lives -- finding money, dealing with jerks, and day-to-day craziness -- are just too stressful and I am convinced that I am burnt out…to a crisp…to an ash…and then I see how the poor keep on going.
Let’s be clear…not all do. Some give up. Some turn to the bottle, glue sniffing, drugs. Some leave their children with their grandparents and run away. Some commit suicide. And who can blame them?But the vast majority do not. They keep on going and going and going and going.
My stress looks puny when I see the daughter with the father in the rigged wheelchair. I feel unworthy of feeling completely overwhelmed when I think of Doña Lucia’s life. But mostly…
I see the light - not at the end of the tunnel - but in the tunnel itself when I look at the determination of these extraordinary people that our clinic serves as they carry on the best they know how…and sometimes that is the best that they hope for…to carry on. -- Kathleen
