When Learning Difficulties Lead to Beauty

Bobby with his granddaughter, Kadence

 My brother died soon after my father.  I missed my father’s memorial service and in my grief shared a bit about him in this blog.  I was there with my brother, Bobby, when he died on the 12th of September, but once again I ask that you please bear with me as I share a bit of who Bobby was.

My dear brother was a gentle, sweet-natured man.  He was an artist*, a loving husband, father, son, and brother.  He had deep faith although he had little to do with institutional religion. He lived his life and ran his little jewelry shop honestly and ethically.As a boy he was unruly, unpredictable and a nightmare for teachers.  He went to elementary school in an area and a time when learning disabilities were not acknowledged due to ignorance in the educational community and due to his teachers**, most of whom just wanted to do their class and go home.  He had some horrible teachers.  His second grade teacher physically and verbally abused him.

At the age of 21 years after leaving high school and training to be a jeweler, Bobby learned he was dyslexic.  What a relief it was for him to learn he was not stupid as many of his teachers and classmates thought and instilled in him!

Having a child with ADHD (Attention Deficit Disorder with Hyperactivity) and remembering Bobby’s childhood, I am convinced that along with the dyslexia he also had ADHD.  He had a hard time focusing unless whatever he was doing was something he loved then he hyper-focused…like his jewelry.  As a teen living with learning disabilities and low self-esteem, Bobby started drinking, smoking, and using drugs.  The alcohol and his drugs of choice lead me to think that like many teens with ADHD, Bobby chose to self-medicate.

Eight years ago, Bobby went through rehab and was sober until he died…but he was never successful at battling cigarettes.  He died from cancer that started in his mouth.

Bobby in his shop

Bobby’s learning problems led to beauty.  Many dyslexics have great capacity of creativity and he did.  The pieces he made were exquisite. Many people with ADHD are impulsive, sometimes they don’t make the wisest decisions but sometimes they are the most generous and the kindest.  Bobby was that…sweet and kind.

In the Nicaraguan public schools, knowledge of and accommodations for learning disabilities are almost on the same level as they were when Bobby was a child.   Teachers likely do not understand.  If by miracle the teacher is able to identify a learning disability, they certainly don’t have the resources or the time to accommodate these special children.  All of this leads to children suffering like Bobby did.

Bobby with his family.

Pat, our clinic counselor, helps some of these children in Nueva Vida.  Learning disabilities, if identified, are left to the therapists.  Pat works with our doctors to get them medications if appropriate.  She does therapy with them.  She helps to rebuild their self-esteem.  She also helps them and their parents learn coping mechanisms, but the need is great.

Bobby & his son visiting a volcano in Nicaragua.

Children with learning disabilities are difficult in class and often at home, but they are also a gift to society.  They are frequently the artists, the impulsive givers, and the ones who can think outside the box.  Bobby was that and so much more and I miss him.
-Kathleen
*For those of who have visited the CDCA in Nicaragua the lions sitting out front of the house have all their legs because when Bobby visited us, he sculpted one missing leg.

**Bobby’s daughter, Gloria, became a high school teacher and has won two years in a row the best teacher award.